I had a very privileged upbringing as a double doctors’ daughter. My parents were nevertheless very much there for me and full of wisdom and love. I have three beautiful sisters who are great friends, had a secure church family and wonderful people choosing to invest in me and help to establish my faith. Despite all this, worry was a feature of my early life. I was afraid of losing my parents, or that they might split up. I was afraid of spiders, homesick at school, anxious about achieving and scared of failing or disappointing people.
Studying science at university, my faith was challenged by the evolution question and although I persisted in going to church and seeking God, I had a year or two with periods of real doubt and emptiness. At the same time, God determinedly revealed himself. He placed me in a church which really believed in His supernatural power – not in a weird way, but challenging us to raise our faith and believe in the Jesus of the Gospels. I also grew wonderful friendships with people who love me just as I am. I eventually received prayer for my own feelings of fear and worry and God powerfully released me. I was filled with an amazing sense of joy and optimism, given a new confidence and quite unexpectedly healed of arachnophobia! Compared to other things this might seem like a tiny thing but it’s a reminder to me of how kind God is - He doesn’t discriminate against privileged middle class people but deals with us all individually!
After university I decided to do a part-time discipleship course. I started the year on benefits, then worked as a cleaner and gardener to support myself, then a telemarketer (my worst job ever – I got fired!) and finally got offered a research technician post in my university department. That year was all about trusting God to provide and always finding Him generous; getting a better perspective of myself and finding out what God has really given me a passion for, and surrendering my intellect to Him in favour of trusting His promptings and the Bible... The process of surrender has been ongoing. It certainly doesn’t mean turning my brain off, but it does mean submitting my mind to His word and keeping an open heart. A year or two later I felt nudged to go part-time, allowing me to invest more time in the church and get involved with an environmental charity. I gave up some income, God seemed to fill the gap, even providing better accommodation at lower cost. Since then I have found that following where He leads has been fun and fulfilling. Stepping out with Him in faith seems to keep doubts at bay, and it’s so exciting seeing answers to prayer and finding unexpected doors opening (or closing!) Knowing God, means I dwell secure in the knowledge that a good and loving Father controls my destiny - an amazing foundation for life.